What Other People Think (Is None of Your Business)

What other people think of me is none of my business. Some days. That saying becomes my mantra and gets played on repeat over and over. Many times, it has saved my sanity and allowed me to let go of the crap that gets boggled up trying to be perfect for other people. I know so many more mamas out need to hear this. It’s none of

your business what other people think of you.

Of course, we tend to think that we are in control of what other people think. Yeah, our actions can influence those feelings or thoughts at times. In reality though, we are only in control of what we think. And how we think of ourselves.

You ever feel like you are doing

everything in your power to make others happy, yet it still isn’t enough? You try to make everything go perfectly smooth and when it doesn’t, you torture yourself with all the criticisms you are sure everyone else is thinking.

Sometimes people really have taken for granted the effort you’ve put in. Sometimes it’s all a fabric of your imagination.

Finally, something erupts, and the tension could be cut with a knife. We find ourselves searching for what we could have done different to make things go right. Somehow, it was all our fault.

Stop.

Take a step back.

Are you really all those negative things that you are ritualizing yourself into believing you are?

No. You are not.

I was in Walmart yesterday with my family during Sunday craziness. My daughter, my sweet little threenager, had been extra good. During checkout, she was messing with the spinning bag stand, trying to figure it out. Really, she was barely moving it, but being surrounded by other people definitely triggered my mom anxiety.

All the Walmart mom horror stories began to swarm my head. Every parent has had one, including me, and I started worrying what they were thinking, even though she really wasn’t misbehaving. I stressed it was going to escalate. I felt myself starting to treat her like she was, even though she had been so good the whole time.

At some point, I heard the edge in my voice, and I had to reign myself in. I had let all the “what ifs” of other people’s thoughts, nothing I would ever hear or know, change my whole attitude and almost ruin our whole great shopping trip.

All too often, we hold ourselves back by these barriers. Not just in parenting, but in all aspects of our life. We sit on the sidelines. We don’t socialize. We react in ways that we aren’t happy with in our hearts. We become the victim and the bad guy and the perpetrator all at the same time.

So, I want to know. What would you do if you didn’t have those thoughts and you quit being so hard on yourself all the time?

If you didn’t have that feeling of someone didn’t like you, would you make more of an effort?

If you didn’t feel like you were always being judged when you were out with your children, would you go more places?

Would you live more if you loved yourself a little more?

I think you would. I know I do.

So, the next time you find yourself starting to let all those negative feelings in, remind yourself that it’s not your business what other people think. You will never know if you drove them crazy or if they liked you. Why not think that they liked you?

And if they really are judging you, remember that they don’t know what your story is. They don’t know if you had the greatest shopping experience or the worst. Their judgement says more about them than it does about you.

Love yourself. It will help you to love others better.

Happy Monday Everyone!