When It Becomes Too Much

Disclaimer: Because I don’t think I have said this before, I just want to share that when I speak of God, I speak of my understanding of God. That may be different to you and THAT’S OKAY. Your higher power can be whatever you need it to be it. This is a safe place for different beliefs. In fact, different beliefs are highly encouraged. Sharing them is how we grow.

This week has been a lot of ups and downs. A lot of things have felt out of control. Which is a scary place for me to be. Last week we talked about the chances in change. But what about when the excitement of change turns to stress and worry? So, this week we’re talking about letting go and letting God.

There comes a time when changes or choices roll in and life can get overwhelming, even after the change has occurred. I’m in that boat right now as I type.

I’ve all but fully embraced the changes going on in my life. Why? Because they scare me.

My wife going back to work and my daughter going back to school has left me feeling lonely after having so much time together in quarantine.

I’m sure there are many at-home mamas that are feeling this way. For me I know there is relief in gaining some “me time.” For Everybody’s Mama, for my writing, focusing on my mental health. But there has also been this big relief in having the whole family home. And all those what-ifs that come with the them going back out into the world, while I stay home, is an overwhelmingly scary idea.

After two weeks of being in a depression, I’m finally trying to get to letting go and letting God.

And what I mean by that is that I know I can’t control the outcomes or any of the what-ifs. I have to let go that I can and trust that God, as I understand, will guide them home.

Sometimes it takes more than once to let go. I’ve gone back and forth multiple times in this depression. I’ve let go. And then let all my fears come rushing back. Then let go again. And repeat. It took me all week to write this post because I’ve had a hard time being okay with going back to an old, new normal.

At some point we all face trials in which we think we know best when it comes to solving them. For me, in this instance, I felt like my way with everyone home was the best option. And I held onto that with a white-knuckled grip that I didn’t want to waiver.

But in reality, my daughter needs her friends. We need an income coming in. We all need to lead our own lives. My faith in my Higher Power has never steered me wrong, even in the darkest moments of my life. I just have to trust that that will continue to remain true despite all my fears.

That sounds a lot easier than it really is, like most good pieces of advice. It’s taken me almost a whole week to write this post. Mostly due to the fact that I didn’t want to do the letting go part. You’ll find that it’s a lot easier to Let God when you’ve fully realized that you really have no control over what happens. When you Let Go of that, you can finally Let God.

My piece of advice this week is to try to find one thing that is bothering you to and turn it over your Higher Power. Then. Wait and see what comes from it. Watch the beauty happen.

If you struggle, it’s okay. I am too.

And like Mama always says: Let Go, and Let God.